Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Word Count Wednesday March 22

What am I Working on?
Currently I am in the brainstorming process of my script for a short film. I decided to go with my Ikea Theme Park idea except it is going to be super creepy and all the workers are going to be trying to kill the main characters. Just like in Ikea, you have to go all the ay through the store to get out it will be the same for the theme park. The characters will have to go on each ride to get away from the evil and pissed workers. There is a twist at the end that makes this wonderfully odd fantasy all ok.

How does the process make me feel? 
I am actually pumped for this right at the moment because so many things can happen, and its such a wacky almost realistic but also super unrealistic idea. I have a few characters in mind and a few weird things that are going to happen to the characters but with this I'm trying really hard not to plan it out completely. I am so much a plotter and I hate it because I get bored with my story once I outline events. It's like everything is an essay and I have to have specific elements to make it decent. Anyways lets see how it goes not plotting everything out!

What am I reading?
I actually started to reread Crank since we are talking about Ellen Hopkins. I forgot how much I loved these books.

Word count:
0. Like I said, still brainstorming but also not writing everything down I think of so when I am writing out the script I will rethink of my ideas and it will flow!

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Word count Wednesday 3-8-17

What am I Working on?

Right now I am working on my chapter book. I have put all my pieces of the story I have written into a time line and outlined how to get from point A to point B then point B to point C and so on. I am starting to pick up the pace on this project again and in pretty happen about that!

How does the process make me feel?

Im still a little flustered with this project because I'm worried am going to get bored again because I plotted it out. I tried really hard to not write down every detail because I don't want to limit the possibilities for my story but also I do know where I want things to go. I love my characters and I am proud for the issues they come out of but also I think I need happier shit to happen too.

What am I reading?

I just got a new book that I unfortunately haven't opened yet, but I am really looking forward too. It is a book called Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay.  I was referred to this book by a really good friend and she said it is just to good to not read.

Word count
567 :(

Monday, February 27, 2017

Bartholomew the Black Kitty Cat

Hello. My name is Bartholomew. I am approximately 5 years old and just so happen to be an all black kitty cat. I have a human named Penelope, and a dog. Always around halloween Penelope keeps me inside because of the black cat superstitions. However, this year it must have slipped my mind what the orange leaves on the ground meant. Not only were they marvelous to chase and pounce on, but a whole week of steering clear of the crazies. I had already spent two days inside and thought nothing of it. Stupidly, it didn't even dawn on me that Penelope had begun the week of safety. I had however noticed she bought new toys and a whole bag of that green delicious stuff I always feel silly after sniffing. 
Penelope had just retuned from the store and was bringing in groceries. I did my usually meow greeting at the door when something caught my eye on the lawn. The most beautiful leaf. It was a brilliant red. I had never seen one like it. It dances enticingly in the slight autumn breeze. I had no choice but to follow it and catch it for myself. 
I dashed out the door after it. Right as I did the wind picked up just a bit and the leaf glided just out of my reach. I followed it a fewer more feet. Then a few more, and a few more, until I was smack dab in the middle if the oh-so-creepy families lawn. 
All the cats on my street knew to NEVER go near this house. 
There had been rumors of cats in the exact position I was in and they were fooled into taking food from this family once and never to be heard from again. The little boy would be seen out on the side walk burning ants one day and salting snails the next. The little girl was a kleptomaniac and stole anything she could get her hands on. Penelope once had a yard sale and caught the little girl stealing Pokemon cards. The little girl never confessed but magically found cards hidden all over the yard sale. 
I looked around to see if there was any immediate threat. To my dismay, there was. The little boy was starring at me with a grim like the one you would see a lion have right before he take a pounce on his next meal. He started to inch closer calling “heerree kitty kitty kitty. Come here good boy.”I ran as fast as my four paws smacking on the black asphalt would take me. I ran until I couldn't run anymore. 
When I finally stopped and looked around I realized I had never been here before. I was in a backyard with steps leading down to a path. 
I found a beautiful gigantic hole in the ground filled with water. I think Penelope once called something like this a pond. On the shore line there was a boat that was flipped upside down. It provided me with enough shelter for the night. I knew I had to find my way home in the morning. My heart saddened at the thought of the Penelope and the dog worrying about me. I miss my owner and my best friend the dog. She may be a crazy puppy but the past year I have known her she has truly grown on me. Of course i’d never tell her that. 
I heard howling all night and knew if I made a move the coyotes would without a doubt find me. As I sat there as still as could be I couldn't help but wonder if Penelope and the dog could hear the same howling. Part of me wanted them to hear the coyotes so then at least they weren't to far away, but the other part of me didn't want them to worry about me being the catch of the night.
When morning came I woke up and instantly without moving listen for any other animals, luckily no one. I peeked my head out from under the boat. It was sunny and beautiful out. The perfect day to find my way home. 
I Made my way up the stairs back into the backyard trying to find a street. When I finally find the street I sniffed the slight breeze hard for any indication on which way to go. Nothing. 
Out of the bushes comes a ratty looking cat. Fur not groomed, half his ear gone, and what smells like burnt whiskers. I hiss hard to let him know I am NOT in the mood to be trifled with. He pays no attention to my obvious uninterested in him. This cat walk over to me with such poise and grace like he knows something I don’t. I can already tell this is going to be an irritating conversation but maybe he knows something of how I may get home. 
“Well, hello my friend” he articulated in my direction. 
Im an effort to make this quick I replied “I need help finding my way home”. 
“Why do you wanna go home? Being outside and free is really what a cats life is all about”. 
“My owner Penelope is worried about me and I don't want her to be upset”.
He started to walk away and I called after him, “Hey! Can you please help. I don't know where I am and I am hungry”. 
He replies with a resonating “Well that I can help with”. 

We then spent the next hour hunting. Yes, you read that correct, hunting. I had no idea what I was doing at all. It turns out his name is Joe. We got to talking and he told me that he had no family and thinks the idea of having a human is atrocious. 
Finally I hit a stroke of luck and caught a lizard. He was in the sun doing push ups. I just ran right over and waked him and that was that. One punch and he was out. I didn't very much like the taste but I was so hungry I almost didn't care. 
Joe showed me some other cool places to go and before I realized it was almost dark again. I wasted a whole day not looking for my home. 
I have to admit looking back now I had a fantastic day with Joe. It was the most fun and adventure I had ever had. 
Joe was kind enough to take me to the place he spends most of his nights. It was a random garage with a little dog door into it. We hopped the fence into the backyard. We had to make sure the evil little chihuahuas weren't going to be outside so we could sneak into the garage before they came outside for their last pee of the night. 
Inside the garage was organized with three bikes hanging from a rack. We jumped onto the rack and up there were a pile of sleeping bags. It was warm and comfortable unlike the first night away from home. 
The next morning we woke up and I thanked Joe for everything but told him I needed to focus on getting home.  To my surprise he said he would help. He asked me to describe my house and the dog. 
I told him she was a fifty-five pound golden dog with a rainbow collar. I told him that despite me calling her dog she was actually a puppy. She was crazy and jumped around everywhere in the backyard. She loved all animals and was friends with almost everyone.
“In your backyard, do you have a pool with little frogs at the bottom” he asked.
Shocked I asked “how did you know that”?
He replied with the most marvelous news. “I know your dog! I know where you live!” 
I was overjoyed and almost couldn't believe my own ears. Joe told me that it would take about half a day to get there so we got up and going as fast as we could so we could catch some food on the way. 
When we finally got the my house I could have started crying. It was getting dark and cold and I couldn't have been happier to be inside with the dog and Penny any minute. 
Joe helped me meow at the door so that it would be two times as loud. It took Penny about 20 second until she opened the door super excitedly. Joe got scared and ran just a few feet away. I ran inside. Penelope was so happy to see me she almost didn't notice the other cat on the porch. When she did she ran and got him a plate of food and tried to get him inside. I told him it would be ok but he refused. 

Every now and then Joe stops by to visit. He always welcomes a free meal from Penelope. He even comes in the house one in a while. Penny has fallen in love with him now too. Joe is my best friend and I owe my life to him. I think Penny knows this and that is why she takes such good care of him. I over heard her that this year she might even try to keep Joe inside around Halloween just in case. I wonder how he will take the news. 

Please go easy on me. Like I said in class, this project just kind of got away from me. I tried to tie the halloween element in at the end but it feels so cheap. I would have started over but I didn't even really like the idea after I started writing. There is a distinct point, at least to me, where I can tell I lost interest. :(

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Fate cemented in

My Past
Haunting me 
my every step 
in every direction


It all reaches out 
and pulls me back 
again into the void of chills and tears
cold like the cement that the walls are made from

and you
with your silk hair 
and eyes deep as the sea
blowing out the candle
the only light 
as you come near 

for a moment I am frozen 
I wonder 
frozen in fear or the loss of the fire
the warmth from its light

I feel your hand touch my cheek 
I can see another fire ignite
My senses mash together 
just the moment our lips do the same
sucking the breathe out of my lungs
drowning in your once more

and for a moment I can feel the 
sun on my skin 
and sand in my toes 
burning hot 
like your passion on my body

I forget that I am trapped

trapped inside this cement box I helped you build 

for me
for me 

I realize how easy it would be
to pretend again
accept defeat
and let our love swallow me whole  
lose myself in your sandy beaches 
in your promise land of love and fortune

I could begin 
to self destruct
silence myself

but I have learned

I am stronger now

I am no longer unaware of my choices

I lift my head
 out of the pool of sorrow and hated
 that your touch created in me

and in that
imperfect second
a rip forms in the blanket 
or our lies

I see real sunlight 
slip through 
something I never thought i'd see 

I pull the stitches 
out from the holes forming at the seams
of this untamed 
mess we quilted ourselves into

I slip through and out into 
the world I've missed so
I turn around for one more glimpse

and you 
are there
stepping through right 

Monday, February 6, 2017

Word Count Wednesday 2-1-17

What am I currently working on?

I am always trying to remember to journal. I used to journal everyday for an hour before bed. Now I have such a hard time even just sitting down to do it! I hate that shift in my schedule and hope that forcing myself to do it will eventually get me back in that habit. Other than that ongoing battle, I am working on my chapter book and poems. I think my poems will end up being a part of my story because I have this concept I can't shake. Someone close to me recently shared a childhood trauma with me that I can't get out of my head. I keep putting myself in that moment and have moments of word clarity from that situation. I don't want to give to much away but I'm scared/ exited to put these words into a story! 

How does the process make me feel?

I feel like my process is so irritating. I have so many ideas and snippets written but I am having a hell of a time putting it all together. I really can't wait to see it all together though.

What am I reading now?

I am reading the Stephen King book and also lots of anthropology journals for my cultural anthropology class. I would love to have time to read for pleasure but the truth of the matter is, I don't. 

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Chapter book map description

In this map I have designated a few places my chapter book will take place. They go as followed:
F: The farm house owned by a very kind women named Marylou and her son Pete.  Pete is a cute friend who is very fond of Sam with mutual feelings. Sam convinces Marylou to let Pete come to her school the following year.

I: The ice cream shop in which she hangs out with everyone.They have live music and a dance floor and Sam loves to dance.

H: her home with her parents and her floppy eared pup Bruce.

L: The library she loves to visit the kitty and also loves ready. Great relationship with librarian

T: The secret tree hidden with other trees around in the middle of the town square park. The tree has a hole in it just in reach but out of eye sight. Her and her friends leave trinkets and silly letters to each other in the hole.

S : The school all the kids go to unless homeschooled. Also where Pete kissed her for the first time(by the swings)

BFF: Margaret's house. Same best friend. Also where bad things happen. Margarets family is richer and has much nicer things but it comes at a price of family values, love, and respect.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Picture Book Experiment

Please Use Your Fucking Blinker: An Adult Picture Book for the Visual Learner
By Holly Holdsworth

Dedicated to anyone who is confused on the rules.

Please. would you kindly GET OFF YOUR PHONE!
I am sick and tired of you swerving into my lane.

If you do end up hitting me, I'm going to ask you one question, assuming we aren't both dead, WAS THAT TEXT MESSAGE WORTH IT? Im assuming not considering the amount you will have to pay for the damages to my car and... ouch... my neck is REALLY hurting.

You. Yeah you. Stopped in the middle of the road picking up a random pedestrian; NEWS FLASH! Just because you have your hazard lights on doesn't mean you can stop anywhere you want and impede traffic.

I, being the Good Samaritan I am, will pull into the nearest parking lot, get a good camera shot, and record this idiotic act until A. You leave or B. Someone rear ends you and... ouch.. they asked for my copy of the video, and they back is really starting to hurt.

Old people. For the love of all that is good. Please surrender your drivers license. I know there is no way you got that license legally. weather you memorized the lines for your vision test or what i don't know but oh boy.

The swerving lanes, 25 mph on the highway and just completely not aware of your surroundings is going to really hurt someone. You can't pull out in front of someone going the posted speed limit and then proceed to not reach the appropriate speed/ distance ratio to the car coming up behind you! You will get rear ended and probably die for impact. and just to make this disgustingly clear, 50mph and 15mph  are not the same thing. Just in case you couldn't hear the difference in the words.

To the women in the mom van who is either ignoring the "keep clear" writing on the road just can't read, you are really annoying. There are many different ways to commit this offense and only a few ways to serve justice...

I hope, one day, you will get a ticket for blocking the intersection when an emergency vehicle needs to get through. or someone just T-bones you for being in the intersection when the light changes and the other traffic gets to go BUT THEY CANT BECAUSE YOU ARE IN THE WAY.

Hello! I'm just a good samaritan who noticed you might need to refill your blinker juice. Oh. Its all full? Well then use your fucking blinker! its not that hard! Or...may be you just don't know how to use it...

I never realized some people just may not know what a blinker is. Well, it is this little stick behind the steering wheel that you can move up or down to let people around you know you want to go. Up indicates you want to travel to the right by the little BLINKING lights on the right side of your car, and down indicate you want to go left  with the little BLINKING lights on the left side of your car. And that laddies and gentlemen is what blinkers are.

Question: why did the driver stop 15 car lengths behind the car in front of them at a red light?

You must really be an idiot with some obvious depth perception issue. You are pissing many people off by not leaving enough room for anyone to get into the turn lane. Why do you like making everyone mad? Not cool dude. Not cool.

I love the moment of sure fluster when I honk at some one WHO DOESNT GO WHEN THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN.

The sheer terror in there eye like "oh fuck! I was that guy!" and then the moment of utter regret and sadness as they wave in apology. I also love giving them either the one finger salute in return for not paying attention or just giving the meanest stare I can muster up at that moment.

Moral of this story is, please don't be any of these people. No one will like you and you very well may end up alone. Well, maybe, but you sure the hell will piss a lot of people off.
(note: nice drawing of me smiling and waving at reader)