Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Fate cemented in

My Past
Haunting me 
my every step 
in every direction


It all reaches out 
and pulls me back 
again into the void of chills and tears
cold like the cement that the walls are made from

and you
with your silk hair 
and eyes deep as the sea
blowing out the candle
the only light 
as you come near 

for a moment I am frozen 
I wonder 
frozen in fear or the loss of the fire
the warmth from its light

I feel your hand touch my cheek 
I can see another fire ignite
My senses mash together 
just the moment our lips do the same
sucking the breathe out of my lungs
drowning in your once more

and for a moment I can feel the 
sun on my skin 
and sand in my toes 
burning hot 
like your passion on my body

I forget that I am trapped

trapped inside this cement box I helped you build 

for me
for me 

I realize how easy it would be
to pretend again
accept defeat
and let our love swallow me whole  
lose myself in your sandy beaches 
in your promise land of love and fortune

I could begin 
to self destruct
silence myself

but I have learned

I am stronger now

I am no longer unaware of my choices

I lift my head
 out of the pool of sorrow and hated
 that your touch created in me

and in that
imperfect second
a rip forms in the blanket 
or our lies

I see real sunlight 
slip through 
something I never thought i'd see 

I pull the stitches 
out from the holes forming at the seams
of this untamed 
mess we quilted ourselves into

I slip through and out into 
the world I've missed so
I turn around for one more glimpse

and you 
are there
stepping through right 

1 comment:

  1. "Trapped in the cement box I helped you build"
    "Of this untamed mess we quilted ourselves into"

    These are such powerful lines. Both gave me chills!