Monday, February 27, 2017

Bartholomew the Black Kitty Cat

Hello. My name is Bartholomew. I am approximately 5 years old and just so happen to be an all black kitty cat. I have a human named Penelope, and a dog. Always around halloween Penelope keeps me inside because of the black cat superstitions. However, this year it must have slipped my mind what the orange leaves on the ground meant. Not only were they marvelous to chase and pounce on, but a whole week of steering clear of the crazies. I had already spent two days inside and thought nothing of it. Stupidly, it didn't even dawn on me that Penelope had begun the week of safety. I had however noticed she bought new toys and a whole bag of that green delicious stuff I always feel silly after sniffing. 
Penelope had just retuned from the store and was bringing in groceries. I did my usually meow greeting at the door when something caught my eye on the lawn. The most beautiful leaf. It was a brilliant red. I had never seen one like it. It dances enticingly in the slight autumn breeze. I had no choice but to follow it and catch it for myself. 
I dashed out the door after it. Right as I did the wind picked up just a bit and the leaf glided just out of my reach. I followed it a fewer more feet. Then a few more, and a few more, until I was smack dab in the middle if the oh-so-creepy families lawn. 
All the cats on my street knew to NEVER go near this house. 
There had been rumors of cats in the exact position I was in and they were fooled into taking food from this family once and never to be heard from again. The little boy would be seen out on the side walk burning ants one day and salting snails the next. The little girl was a kleptomaniac and stole anything she could get her hands on. Penelope once had a yard sale and caught the little girl stealing Pokemon cards. The little girl never confessed but magically found cards hidden all over the yard sale. 
I looked around to see if there was any immediate threat. To my dismay, there was. The little boy was starring at me with a grim like the one you would see a lion have right before he take a pounce on his next meal. He started to inch closer calling “heerree kitty kitty kitty. Come here good boy.”I ran as fast as my four paws smacking on the black asphalt would take me. I ran until I couldn't run anymore. 
When I finally stopped and looked around I realized I had never been here before. I was in a backyard with steps leading down to a path. 
I found a beautiful gigantic hole in the ground filled with water. I think Penelope once called something like this a pond. On the shore line there was a boat that was flipped upside down. It provided me with enough shelter for the night. I knew I had to find my way home in the morning. My heart saddened at the thought of the Penelope and the dog worrying about me. I miss my owner and my best friend the dog. She may be a crazy puppy but the past year I have known her she has truly grown on me. Of course i’d never tell her that. 
I heard howling all night and knew if I made a move the coyotes would without a doubt find me. As I sat there as still as could be I couldn't help but wonder if Penelope and the dog could hear the same howling. Part of me wanted them to hear the coyotes so then at least they weren't to far away, but the other part of me didn't want them to worry about me being the catch of the night.
When morning came I woke up and instantly without moving listen for any other animals, luckily no one. I peeked my head out from under the boat. It was sunny and beautiful out. The perfect day to find my way home. 
I Made my way up the stairs back into the backyard trying to find a street. When I finally find the street I sniffed the slight breeze hard for any indication on which way to go. Nothing. 
Out of the bushes comes a ratty looking cat. Fur not groomed, half his ear gone, and what smells like burnt whiskers. I hiss hard to let him know I am NOT in the mood to be trifled with. He pays no attention to my obvious uninterested in him. This cat walk over to me with such poise and grace like he knows something I don’t. I can already tell this is going to be an irritating conversation but maybe he knows something of how I may get home. 
“Well, hello my friend” he articulated in my direction. 
Im an effort to make this quick I replied “I need help finding my way home”. 
“Why do you wanna go home? Being outside and free is really what a cats life is all about”. 
“My owner Penelope is worried about me and I don't want her to be upset”.
He started to walk away and I called after him, “Hey! Can you please help. I don't know where I am and I am hungry”. 
He replies with a resonating “Well that I can help with”. 

We then spent the next hour hunting. Yes, you read that correct, hunting. I had no idea what I was doing at all. It turns out his name is Joe. We got to talking and he told me that he had no family and thinks the idea of having a human is atrocious. 
Finally I hit a stroke of luck and caught a lizard. He was in the sun doing push ups. I just ran right over and waked him and that was that. One punch and he was out. I didn't very much like the taste but I was so hungry I almost didn't care. 
Joe showed me some other cool places to go and before I realized it was almost dark again. I wasted a whole day not looking for my home. 
I have to admit looking back now I had a fantastic day with Joe. It was the most fun and adventure I had ever had. 
Joe was kind enough to take me to the place he spends most of his nights. It was a random garage with a little dog door into it. We hopped the fence into the backyard. We had to make sure the evil little chihuahuas weren't going to be outside so we could sneak into the garage before they came outside for their last pee of the night. 
Inside the garage was organized with three bikes hanging from a rack. We jumped onto the rack and up there were a pile of sleeping bags. It was warm and comfortable unlike the first night away from home. 
The next morning we woke up and I thanked Joe for everything but told him I needed to focus on getting home.  To my surprise he said he would help. He asked me to describe my house and the dog. 
I told him she was a fifty-five pound golden dog with a rainbow collar. I told him that despite me calling her dog she was actually a puppy. She was crazy and jumped around everywhere in the backyard. She loved all animals and was friends with almost everyone.
“In your backyard, do you have a pool with little frogs at the bottom” he asked.
Shocked I asked “how did you know that”?
He replied with the most marvelous news. “I know your dog! I know where you live!” 
I was overjoyed and almost couldn't believe my own ears. Joe told me that it would take about half a day to get there so we got up and going as fast as we could so we could catch some food on the way. 
When we finally got the my house I could have started crying. It was getting dark and cold and I couldn't have been happier to be inside with the dog and Penny any minute. 
Joe helped me meow at the door so that it would be two times as loud. It took Penny about 20 second until she opened the door super excitedly. Joe got scared and ran just a few feet away. I ran inside. Penelope was so happy to see me she almost didn't notice the other cat on the porch. When she did she ran and got him a plate of food and tried to get him inside. I told him it would be ok but he refused. 

Every now and then Joe stops by to visit. He always welcomes a free meal from Penelope. He even comes in the house one in a while. Penny has fallen in love with him now too. Joe is my best friend and I owe my life to him. I think Penny knows this and that is why she takes such good care of him. I over heard her that this year she might even try to keep Joe inside around Halloween just in case. I wonder how he will take the news. 

Please go easy on me. Like I said in class, this project just kind of got away from me. I tried to tie the halloween element in at the end but it feels so cheap. I would have started over but I didn't even really like the idea after I started writing. There is a distinct point, at least to me, where I can tell I lost interest. :(

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Fate cemented in

My Past
Haunting me 
my every step 
in every direction


It all reaches out 
and pulls me back 
again into the void of chills and tears
cold like the cement that the walls are made from

and you
with your silk hair 
and eyes deep as the sea
blowing out the candle
the only light 
as you come near 

for a moment I am frozen 
I wonder 
frozen in fear or the loss of the fire
the warmth from its light

I feel your hand touch my cheek 
I can see another fire ignite
My senses mash together 
just the moment our lips do the same
sucking the breathe out of my lungs
drowning in your once more

and for a moment I can feel the 
sun on my skin 
and sand in my toes 
burning hot 
like your passion on my body

I forget that I am trapped

trapped inside this cement box I helped you build 

for me
for me 

I realize how easy it would be
to pretend again
accept defeat
and let our love swallow me whole  
lose myself in your sandy beaches 
in your promise land of love and fortune

I could begin 
to self destruct
silence myself

but I have learned

I am stronger now

I am no longer unaware of my choices

I lift my head
 out of the pool of sorrow and hated
 that your touch created in me

and in that
imperfect second
a rip forms in the blanket 
or our lies

I see real sunlight 
slip through 
something I never thought i'd see 

I pull the stitches 
out from the holes forming at the seams
of this untamed 
mess we quilted ourselves into

I slip through and out into 
the world I've missed so
I turn around for one more glimpse

and you 
are there
stepping through right 

Monday, February 6, 2017

Word Count Wednesday 2-1-17

What am I currently working on?

I am always trying to remember to journal. I used to journal everyday for an hour before bed. Now I have such a hard time even just sitting down to do it! I hate that shift in my schedule and hope that forcing myself to do it will eventually get me back in that habit. Other than that ongoing battle, I am working on my chapter book and poems. I think my poems will end up being a part of my story because I have this concept I can't shake. Someone close to me recently shared a childhood trauma with me that I can't get out of my head. I keep putting myself in that moment and have moments of word clarity from that situation. I don't want to give to much away but I'm scared/ exited to put these words into a story! 

How does the process make me feel?

I feel like my process is so irritating. I have so many ideas and snippets written but I am having a hell of a time putting it all together. I really can't wait to see it all together though.

What am I reading now?

I am reading the Stephen King book and also lots of anthropology journals for my cultural anthropology class. I would love to have time to read for pleasure but the truth of the matter is, I don't.